


Habits

by elii



Series: No Cult FC5! [1]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Eden's Gate Cult, Character Study, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Smoking, Implied/Referenced past Nicotine Addiction, M/M, Marriage Proposal, ish, not very much though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29911788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elii/pseuds/elii
Summary: Another inhale, another exhale. He breathes with the wind, letting it rustle through his hair. Jacob knows he’s messed up. He’s seen, no- he’s lived through the worst that this world has to offer. It chewed him up and spat him out, leaving him prickly and harsh. Too damaged to be a good father, too cold to make a decent husband.He reaches into his pocket, pressing the ring he carried into his palm. He got it a while back, too far back to have any excuse why he’s still carrying it. What was he even doing, playing house with someone like Jude? Pretending that he could be someone better than who he was?
Relationships: Deputy | Judge/Jacob Seed, Jacob Seed/Jude Holliday, Jacob Seed/Original Male Character(s), Male Deputy | Judge/Jacob Seed
Series: No Cult FC5! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2199516
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Habits

**Author's Note:**

> Twitch Seed belongs to @Skullkidd_bee, you can find her right here on AO3!

The sun is hardly a glint in the sky’s eye when Jacob leaves. He’s not going anywhere special, just stepping out to get some air. He woke up a few minutes ago, lurching out of bed with a fear so great it threatened to swallow him whole. The nightmares happen less now than they did before, but Jacob doubts they’ll ever be gone for good. He exhales, watching as the warmth from his breath turns to fog, dissipating into the mountain air. 

His empty hands shake at his sides, his body’s way of begging for a smoke. If this were a year ago, he thinks with some amount of nostalgia, he would already be halfway to the nearest gas station. A familiar routine if he was out of cigarettes at some ungodly hour in the morning, even if it was an old one.

He hadn’t stopped smoking after he found out about Twitch, even though he knew he ought to. He was setting a bad example, but  _ fuck _ , there was little about him that was fatherly anyways. He had no idea how to be a dad back then, Lord knows he never learned a thing about it from his own pops. The closest Jacob came to parenting was when he was just a kid himself, taking care of his brothers. But he had never done a good enough job at that, either.

That didn’t mean he smoked in front of her, or kept his smokes somewhere she could get. Twitch was smarter than him though, always had been, since she was thirteen and showed up on his doorstep. He doubted that he could ever find a good enough place to hide anything that she wouldn’t be able to sniff out if she wanted. Twitch was fifteen years old now and still running laps around his ass.

Jacob sighs, leaning back against the door and crossing his arms over his chest. It was only after Jude came into their lives that Jacob that quit, mostly because Jude was quitting himself. When Jude first moved in, Jacob caught him sneaking out one morning when no one else was awake, loitering on the front porch. Jude looked like a deer in the headlights, all big eyes with an innocent look on his face. Jacob saw right past it, of course, it would’ve been hard not to, given the smoke billowing from between his lips. It was easier for Jude to quit, something Jacob guiltily chalked up to age. Jude smoked for a few years, Jacob smoked since he first enlisted. 

It was a helluva habit to break, but it’s been a year now and Jacob’s stayed clean. He takes a deep inhale, the cool winter air filling his lungs better than smoke ever could. It’s calming, ‘specially after a night full of bad dreams. Makes him feel clean, not as stained by the blood on his hands, not as scorched by the fire in his throat.

He takes a seat on the beat wooden bench that lines their porch, resting his shaky hands on his legs. They still naturally, no flecks of ash on them that seemed just a fraction away from gunpowder. 

It snowed during the night, and Jacob can feel the chill settling into his bones, waking him up better than coffee ever could. Caffeine was never one of his vices, even if he was known to enjoy a cup every now and again. 

Another inhale, another exhale. He breathes with the wind, letting it rustle through his hair. Jacob knows he’s messed up. He’s seen, no- he’s lived through the worst that the world has to offer. It chewed him up and spat him out, leaving him prickly and harsh. Too damaged to be a good father, too cold to make a decent husband.

He reaches into his pocket, pressing the ring he carried into his palm. He got it a while back, too far back to have any excuse why he’s still carrying it. What was he even doing, playing house with someone like Jude? Pretending that he could be someone better than who he was?

Jude shines too bright, and Jacob’s nothing but a moth lured to the flame. Jacob feels like Icarus, flying too close to the great, shining thing in the sky. He was just waiting for his wings to melt, waiting to get scorched for even thinking about approaching something so good. 

But Jude’s not fire, and his touch doesn’t burn like Jacob expected it to. Jude’s love’s as soft as the kiss he gives Jacob before he leaves for work. He’s swallowed by the good in the world, made from light and light itself- Jacob doubted Jude even had the room to be glaring or painful. And fuck, Jacob’s never felt love like this before. Gentle and non-abrasive and understanding. A love that didn’t hurt. A love that didn’t  _ need  _ to hurt. A love that lasted longer than a night. Jude believed in him too, believed that he was more than the scars on his face, more than the grit in his jaw. That he was more than a weapon.

The front door brings Jacob back to the present, making him sit up straighter and look towards the noise. His heart clenches in his chest when he sees Jude come out, a steaming mug in his hand and a sleepy smile on his lips. 

“Didn’t mean to wake ya.” Jacob’s voice is hoarse from the lack of sleep, but Jude shakes his head, taking it in stride. Jude’s wearing Jacob’s sweater, which Jacob really recognizes as Jude’s favorite, and the thick scarf Jude knit for him last Christmas. Jude takes the spot next to him, bringing his legs up on the bench so he can curl close to Jacob.

Jude doesn’t say anything as he presses the mug into Jacob’s hand, afterward setting about taking off his scarf and moving it around Jacob’s neck instead. Only once he’s settled once more does he speak, his words as soft as the rising sun.

“I’d rather be awake with you, anyway.”

It’s a simple thing to say, a handful of words, a sentence. But it’s enough to strike Jacob through the heart, getting in between the cracks in his armor in a way that few things in life knew how to do. Sitting on the front porch of the cabin that wasn’t his, but his  _ family’s _ cabin, Jacob felt the ring in his pocket grow as heavy as his love for the man next pressed against him.

He sets leans forward, setting the coffee down on the floor.

“Jake?” 

Jacob reaches into his pocket, pulling out the ring and keeping it in the palm of his fist. 

“Jude,” He begins, his voice casual despite the circumstance. “I love you.” 

Jude blinks, smiles. An easy “I love you too.”

“Will you marry me?” 

Jude blinks again, his sleepy eyes slowly coming into focus on Jacob’s outstretched hand, and the ring in the center of it. It's only after a minute of silence that Jacob notices the gleam in Jude’s eyes and the tremble of his chin. But before he can speak, Jude’s reaching out, taking the ring and sliding it into his engagement finger. 

Jude pushes himself into Jacob’s arms then, straddling Jacob’s lap so he can give him a proper kiss. 

“Yeah,” Jude says once they part, nodding his head. “Of course."

**Author's Note:**

> Gosh, I love no cult! Jude & Jacob so much it makes me stupid!
> 
> I thrive off kudos/comments & I’d love to hear what you thought, even if it's just an emoji! ❤️


End file.
